Signs you're dating someone with Peter Pan Syndrome (and how to deal with it)

They say you never really know someone until you move in together. And boy, oh boy, are they right.

I knew my ex had some growing up to do, but I didn’t realise just how much until I moved into his flat.

He’d never had a job, and was re-sitting his first year at uni – for the third year in a row. His lifestyle was funded solely by his parents, apartment and bills included.
Any time he needed cash, all it took was one quick phone call to his mother.

Being a self-confessed co-dependent, I saw our relationship as a bit of a project at first. I sprang into action, wanting to teach him the basics of adulting.

I spruced up the flat, cooked his meals, ironed his clothes, and even introduced shower gel, shampoo – and the absolute luxury item that is deodorant – to his daily routine. Extra points to me.

I soon felt more like his replacement mum than his girlfriend.

The ridiculousness of the whole situation started to make sense when I came across something called Peter Pan Syndrome.

I chatted to Dr Tony Ortega – clinical psychologist and author of #AreYouHereYet: How to STFU & Show Up For Yourself – to get the lowdown on this often misunderstood behavioural pattern.

What is Peter Pan Syndrome?

‘It’s a pattern of behaviour in which the person has big dreams yet does little or nothing about them, expecting everything to fall in their laps,’ Dr Ortega tells us. ‘These big dreams are firmly rooted in reality, yet the effort needed to do it is non-existent.

‘At its root, you’ll find feelings of fear and entitlement. I would go so far as to say that it’s a distant cousin of narcissism. They have a drive to succeed, but they were never taught the skills to do these things for themselves. There’s an unspoken expectation that others will be the ones to do it for them.

‘In my experience, I’ve seen younger males in their twenties and thirties having more of these traits than females and older men.’

What are the signs to look out for?

‘Look out for someone with big dreams, but little actions to back these dreams up,’ Dr Ortega explains. ‘They’ll blame other people or factors for their failures.

‘They’re usually quite selfindulgent, wanting to celebrate and party all the time.’

According to BetterHelp, these are also some tell-tale signs of Peter Pan Syndrome:

  • A lack of career interest
  • Can’t handle adult situations
  • Abuse of drugs and/or alcohol
  • Trouble with commitment
  • Unreliable and breaks promises
  • Always blames someone else
  • Uninterested in self-improvement

How someone with Peter Pan Syndrome behaves in a relationship

Dr Ortega says: ‘It can be hard to navigate a relationship with them, as their pattern of thinking and feeling is well ingrained in them.

‘They’re basically takers and not givers. They may give the basics or the bare minimum. If they fear losing their partner, they might go out of their way to make an effort, but this behaviour doesn’t stick around for very long.

‘Telling them they have Peter Pan Syndrome will do nothing but create defensiveness in them, because they don’t – and probably never will – see they have a problem.

‘This is how they were raised, so what’s wrong with what they’re doing?’

What causes this behaviour?

According to Dr Ortega, a dysfunctional parent/child relationship is usually the triggering point for someone developing Peter Pan Syndrome in the future.

‘A person that comes from a well-to-do family and not having had to work for anything in their lives, expect things to just happen for them and wants to prove to a disapproving parental figure that they can be successful,’ he explains.

‘A person who was overly saturated with unrealistic expectations, hopes and dreams by a parental figure – without teaching them the skills to follow through with them – would also be prone to PPS.

‘Helicopter parents also cause the creation of this personality style. They’ll provide so much indulgence to the child that it prevents them from developing the necessary resilience needed to basically grow up and take responsibility for their lives.

‘At an early age, the child is taught that they don’t need to fend for themselves.

‘This then moves over to the person’s life partner or social support system.’

Well that explains that, then. I’ll be sure to look out for more of a Prince Eric type in the future.

Source: Read Full Article

PewDiePie signs exclusive deal with YouTube

Fox Business Flash top headlines for May 4

Fox Business Flash top headlines are here. Check out what’s clicking on FoxBusiness.com.

PewDiePie has signed an exclusive deal with YouTube preventing the controversial Swede from live-streaming on other platforms as a way for the company to set itself apart from its competitors, Variety reported.

Continue Reading Below

The 30-year-old, whose real name is Felix Kjellberg, boasts approximately 104 million YouTube subscribers, his user page shows, and his videos have garnered more than 25 billion views so far, according to the report.

PewDiePie signs copies of his new book “This Book Loves You” in this undated photo (Getty Images)

CONTROVERSIAL PEWDIEPIE HITS 100M+ YOUTUBE SUBSCRIBERS — WHAT THIS MEANS FOR VIDEO GAME CULTURE

“YouTube has been my home for over a decade now and live streaming on the platform feels like a natural fit as I continue to look for new ways to create content and interact with fans worldwide,” Kjellberg said in a statement obtained by Variety. “Live streaming is something I’m focusing a lot on in 2020 and beyond, so to be able to partner with YouTube and be at the forefront of new product features is special and exciting for the future.”

YouTube, which is owned by Google, faces competition from rival streaming sights, such as Amazon-owned Twitch.

YouTube did not immediately respond to FOX Business' request for comment.

Ticker Security Last Change Change %
GOOGL ALPHABET INC. 1,322.90 +5.58 +0.42%
AMZN AMAZON.COM INC. 2,315.99 +29.95 +1.31%

PEWDIEPIE STEPPING AWAY FROM YOUTUBE IN 2020: ‘I’M FEELING VERY TIRED’

Kjellberg got his start with YouTube in 2010 and for years his viewership has ranked among the best, if not topped the charts, according to the report. He streams everything from video games to unusual Internet findings, personal events and even sometimes gets involved in the news of the week.

YOUTUBE STAR BANNED FROM INTERNET IN CHINA

His YouTube channel had received the most subscribers worldwide by 2013. Six years later, he was reportedly named YouTube’s first individual creator to amass 100 million subscribers.

In March, Forbes reported his net worth to be approximately $15 million.

Source: Read Full Article

Carrie Symonds signs petition calling for ban on wet markets after coronvirus pandemic swept the world – The Sun


BORIS Johnson's fiancé Carrie Symonds has joined the call to end wet markets selling live animals after their links to the coronavirus pandemic.

Ms Symonds signed a petition today throwing her support behind the move to end the trade of animals for consumption to "prevent future pandemics".

⚠️ Read our coronavirus live blog for the latest news & updates


She wrote on Twitter: "Have signed this petition calling for an end to the global wildlife trade once and for all. Please do consider doing the same.

"This crisis gives us the chance to start doing things better. Let this be one of those things."

It is believed the deadly outbreak of coronavirus was started at a wet market in Wuhan, where live and dead animals are sold for people to eat.

The petition, which has more than 24,000 signatures said "the occurrence of major outbreaks is increasing in frequency, so urgent action to address this problem is needed".

It only asks for an end to the sale of "terrestrial" animals – or those that live on land, so it would not close fish markets.

It calls on governments around the world to recognise that "the urgency to prevent future pandemics, warrants the permanent end to the commercial trade and sale in markets of terrestrial wild animals (particularly bird and mammals) for consumption".

It continues to call for recognition of "the global security implications of zoonotic (animal) disease outbreaks."

It adds: "The commercial trade in terrestrial wild animals for consumption creates enhanced conditions for the evolution of novel zoonotic pathogens through practices that combine stressed, injured, and sick animals from many different places into one area."

The petition demands new laws to be brought in across the world to end the sale of wild animals for consumption and for agencies responsible for enforcing the ban to be given extra powers.

Earlier this month, more than 200 wildlife charities issued a call to end the wet markets which are believed to have caused the outbreak of coronavirus in Wuhan.

Despite their links with the deadly virus, the World Health Organisation has given the green light for Wuhan's wet markets to reopen.

Other pandemics, including SARS and Ebola, have also been linked to viruses spreading from animals to people.

Ms Symonds is a well-known animal welfare activist – the dog she shares with the PM, Dilyn, was adopted from a shelter.

The petition also calls for the acknowledgment of the animal welfare concerns associated with wet markets, saying "massive commercial trade in terrestrial wild animals for consumption across the world threatens the survival of thousands of species"

The petition said: "The current scale and scope of commercial trade in wild animals is not only threatening the diversity of life, but also the health of societies and individual humans.

"It is time for a new paradigm."





CORONAVIRUS CRISIS – STAY IN THE KNOW

Don't miss the latest news and figures – and essential advice for you and your family.

To receive The Sun's Coronavirus newsletter in your inbox every tea time, sign up here.
To follow us on Facebook, simply 'Like' our Coronavirus page.
Get Britain's best-selling newspaper delivered to your smartphone or tablet each day – find out more.

 

Source: Read Full Article